KISS - True Analog Warriors

Can this possibly end well?
KISS, despite repeatedly showing disinterest in doing anything but re-recording their old material to re-claim the publishing licensing fees, have confirmed they are making a new album to be released this fall. Paul Stanley will be producing and they are supposed to be writing the whole thing themselves without co-writers. Come on dudes, can Desmond Child really be asking for that money in this economy? I do appreciate the band most concerned with appearing larger than life, perhaps even more than Manowar, is going at it reasonably DIY. And on tape to boot.

But as much as I love Eric Singer, Tommy Thayer doesn't have the best song writing track record.

Here is one of the biggest hits from his old band Black N' Blue



Now that is out of the way, I trust Paul Stanley. More than I trust Gene. Paul is the guy who pulled shit out like Magic Touch on his last solo tour. Yeah, Dynasty album tracks! And they sounded amazing. If he can dominate the record, I think we'll be ok.

Here's a little Magic Touch. This is what I want the new KISS record to sound like!

Remembering "Don't Tread"

I woke up yesterday with one of the solos from "Double Coyote," Ted Nugent's blues-rock guitar duel with himself on Damn Yankees' second album, and realized I needed to hear it - and the songs that went with it - once again, so I downloaded it. I should note that I bought Don't Tread on tape from BMG when it came out in 1992 at the highly impressionable age of eleven, so that while other people grew up with the Nuge's solo work, I subsisted on the super group more than a few have insisted "ruined Ted Nugent." However, despite the slur (or maybe because of it?), I loved the album then - my first real hard rock purchase - and have ever since.

That said, I've come to realize what schizophrenic piece of work Don't Tread really is. Its release date probably didn't help - releasing anything to a rock audience in 1992 that didn't sound something like Nirvana seems like the career equivalent of trying to build a sand castle in front of a tsunami - but as Seth and I were discussing mere moments ago, that's peripheral to the music itself. By my count, in addition to the blues rock guitar duel, Don't Tread has two ballads, a country rock cut that morphs into arena rock, a handful of hard rock variations, and "Uprising," which - in what had to be a sign of the future - had my favorite riff of the whole album, a simple, thunderous piece of rock guitar that - when combined with the tribalistic drumming that surrounded it - had more in common with metal idioms of the day than it did with the rest of the album. While I love every note of Don't Tread, I can see why it wasn't such a hot seller: it takes a lot of patience (or the open mind of a kid exploring a completely new world) to get through something so convoluted.

My ultimate Faith No More playlist

In the spirit of Metal Hammer in honor of the Faith No More reunion, I submit to you my essential Faith No More playlist.

1 Introduce Yourself
2 Digging the Grave
3 From Out of Nowhere
4 The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
5 We Care A Lot
6 Naked in Front of My Computer
7 Evidence
8 Midlife Crisis
9 Epic
10 Ugly in the Morning
11 The Real Thing
12 Easy
13 As the Worm Turns

What is yours?

Metal Artwork in an Online World

Interesting article on About.com about the trials and tribulations of bringing metal into the age of the music download. The problem isn't a fear of piracy, mind you - at least not for this article - but losing the connection to the art work that metal musicians, designers and label executives feel is a big part of what makes the music so special.

Unlike many of the musicians quoted in the article, my music experience has been almost entirely art-less: I had (and still have) a large CD collection, but ever since transferring my CDs to those big books in college, I haven't spent a lot of time digging through booklets...and I do so even less now, when all of my collection lives on my hard drive. To be honest, while I can see the point that both the writer and many of his sources are making, a lot of the article comes off as the reflections of an older, less with-it crowd that hasn't quite accepted where the world of music is heading (particularly when they don't realize that "online" and "digital" are not synonymous and that CDs are a form of digital music production): physical publishing is going to become much more of a sideline as we progress. While I agree artwork should still be part of the equation, as the world goes more and more online and the browser becomes a bigger and bigger center of what we do with computers, I suspect that companies will be publishing the extras that come with buying an album online instead - and unlike what's suggested by some, it won't be with an eye towards making printable copies. After all, if you can look at the same size artwork as you would on an LP on your computer screen, or pick out the details on a phone screen the size of a CD cover, and get added features in the digital version that you'd never get in print, why spend the time making a printable booklet?

Thoughts on King Diamond playable in Guitar Hero

I was already leaning towards a purchase of Guitar Hero: Metallica when I heard that King Diamond would be a playable in game character, with the classic top hat and bone microphone. You know, a lot like that image to the left.













So then I started thinking about who else would be awesome obscure playable characters in future Guitar Hero games. (For the record I prefer Rock Band but they don't do this stupid guest star shit)

David Yow! Wouldn't that be a fun motion capture session? David Yow with those MoCap ping pong balls on his penis. Besides Guitar Hero needs some Duane Denison riffs. Personally I would want to play Boilermaker or Wheelchair Epidemic.


Joey Demaio! Aren't all of the backing musicians in this game just modeled after him anyway? I would also like to see if loincloths and codpieces are tame enough to allow Guitar Hero to keep its T for Teen rating. Also, I think Joey can really use the money right now. And to add to that Guitar Hero wish list, let me play Hail and Kill or Brothers of Metal!








Gaahl! Not only would the Gorgoroth singer be a delightfully creepy addition to the game, there is a great business opportunity for Activision here. Let people buy the dresses that he and his twink boyfriend have designed. Also a great boss battle can be Gorgoroth vs Gorgoroth.



Who else would you put into a future Guitar Hero game?

Thoughts on Queensryche's Newest Track

Queensryche has put "If I Were King," one of the tracks from American Soldier, up on MP3.com, for all to check out and...enjoy?

As Blabbermouth points out in their announcement, the lyrics of American Soldier were inspired by interviews that Geoff Tate did with current and former soldiers, and - on this track at least - Queensryche does their best to remind you of their sources: audio clips from the interview that kicked off this particular track get top billing at the start and middle of the song. On top of that are some fairly mundane - by Queensryche standards, at least - lyrics about regret, being unable to change the past, and the sort of top level grief analysis that doesn't lend itself to much introspection. The accompanying music doesn't help either: it moves with really going anywhere particularly interesting, with an entirely forgettable melody that recalls this band at its most tired-sounding. It's not bad...but it's not that good, either. If the remainder of American Soldier sounds this watered down, not only are we in for some big disappointment, but for all of Geoff Tate's pride in his artistic statement, he and the rest of the band have missed a huge opportunity to make something interesting.

And speaking of Van Halen.......

Revel in this live performance of Girl Gone Bad from Montreal in 1984. When they start pulling out the 1984 or Fair Warning deep cuts I'll welcome them back as a touring band. This is amazing. The most underrated track on the 1984 album.



Or speaking of completely fucking awesome Van Halen deep cuts how about Sunday Afternoon in the Park people? They put it right towards the end so as the drugs kicked in you could feel it nice and slow.

Casual Fridays: David Lee Roth Edition

I have been listening pretty much exclusively to David Lee Roth solo material for the last couple of days, with the brief exception of some 1984 cuts. To share the good times, please watch the video for Just Like Paradise below.

Marvel at the majesty of Steve Vai's doubleneck heart shaped guitar. Be puzzled by the use of synth bass when you have Billy Sheehan in your band.



And although I wanted to show you Skyscraper and write about 5,000 words on Steve Vai's genius it is sadly not up on YouTube. So you will have to settle by keeping the party going with "Hot Dog and a Shake." I believe that is innuendo for "my penis and some sperm" but I may just not be smart or clever enough for this game......

Metal and Coffee

I'm sure many of you are coffee drinkers. I came into this particular habit within the last nine months, motivated by the health benefits purportedly given by drinking a certain measure of this acid-laden water every day. In my defense - if a defense need be given for a chemical addiction - I had psychological trauma to work through, brought on by several years servitude as a busboy in a coffee shop (and not the fun, sitcom kind of coffee shop, either). In any case, after I started drinking coffee regularly, I discovered I really like it black (you know, like I like my metal).

I should mention that when it comes to beverages, if there's a possibility that people tend to distinguish the beverage by its flavors - as they do with wine, beer, and whiskey - and I like what they're drinking, I'll latch on to this concept pretty quickly and do my best to find the flavors, too. With coffee, this flavor discovery is pretty easy to do, with even the free coffees my company provides to its caffeine-starved drones having a variety of easily-distinguishable tastes, brought on no doubt in part to help their makers distinguish their products from the competition. I was on my way to get a helping when it occurred to me: flavors of coffee are like flavors of metal.

For example: I started today with a cup of some dark, evil substance whose smoky fury was the taste equivalent of blast beats and tremolo strumming, foreshadowing my selection of 1349's Hellfire as the soundtrack for the first part of my work day. After lunch, as the caloric intake and a sleepy Friday afternoon started to weigh heavily on my eyelids, I felt the desire for a more melodic dose of caffeine - the desire to taste something like a Moonsorrow guitar line - and opted for a mug of French Vanilla. Baroque, bleak, or brutal: no matter what I'm feeling aurally, there's probably a coffee taste to match that feeling orally.

The 200th post spectacular!

On the occasion of the 200th post on this blog, although only 16 of them are mine, please enjoy Alexi Laiho from Children of Bodom playing Vivaldi.

In my opinion this is the most touching rendition of the song that has ever been performed by a man who wears nail polish.

Josh Freese, American Hero

Josh Freese is the drummer for Nine Inch Nails, DEVO, and other bands that are not as Baroque, Bleak, Brutal approved as the first two. He has just officially forever upped the ante with his alternate distribution packages. Personally, I want to go to a strip club with Mark Mothersbaugh! Perhaps even more so than mini golfing with him. Someone call Bob Lefsetz stat!

$7
-Digital Download of "Since 1972" (including 3 videos)

$15
-CD/DVD Double Disc Set
-Digital Download

$50
-CD/DVD Double Disc Set
-T-shirt
-"Thank You" phone call from Josh for buying Since 1972. You can tell him what you like about the record that you purchased, or what you thought sucked. Ask whatever you want, like "Is Maynard really THAT weird?" or "Which on of Sting's mansions has the comfiest beds?" or "Are Devo really Suburban Robots that monitor reality or just a bunch of Dads from Ohio?" or "Why don't the Vandals play more stuff off the first record?" It's your 5 minutes to yack it up. Talk about whatever you want.

$250 (limited edition of 25)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Signed Drum Head and Drumsticks.
-Go on a lunch date with Josh to PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory (whatever you're into.)

$500 (limited edition of 15)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Signed Cymbal and sticks
-Meet Josh in Venice, CA and go floating together in a Sensory deprivation tank (filmed and posted on youtube)
-Dinner at Sizzler (get your $8.99 Steak and "all you can eat" Shrimp on)

$1,000 (limited edition of 10)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Signed Cymbal, Drum head and Drumsticks.
-Josh washes your car OR does your laundry....or you can wash his car.
-Have dinner with Josh aboard the "Queen Mary" in Long Beach, CA
-Get drunk and cut each other's hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse (filmed and posted on youtube of course)

$2,500 (limited edition of 5)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-Get a private drum lesson with Josh or for all you non-drummers have him give you a back and foot massage (couples welcome)
-Pick any 1 member of the Vandals or DEVO (subject to availability) to accompany you and Josh to either the Hollywood Wax Museum or the lunch buffet at the "Spearmint Rhino"
-Signed DW snare drum.
-Take 3 items of your choice out of his closet (first come, first serve)
-Change diapers and make bottles with him for an afternoon (after hitting the strip club)

$5,000 (limited edition of 3)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-Josh writes about a song about you and make available on iTunes.
-Co-direct a video with him for the song about you and throw it up on the youtubes.
-Josh gives you and a friend a private tour of Disneyland
-Get drunk together. If you don't drink we can go to my Dads place and hang out under the "Tuba tree"
-Stone from Pearl Jam will send you a letter telling you about his favorite song on "Since 1972"

$10,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/ DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Signed DW snare drum from A Perfect Circle's 2003 tour.
-Josh gives you a private drum lesson OR his and hers foot/back massage (couples welcome, discreet parking)
-Twiggy from Manson's band and Josh take you and a guest to Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffle in Long Beach for dinner.
-Josh takes you and guest to "Club 33" (the super-duper exclusive and private restaurant at Disneyland located above the Pirates Of The Caribbean) and then hit a couple rides afterwards (preferably the Tiki Room, Haunted Mansion and The Tower Of Terror)
-At the end of the day at Disneyland drive away in Josh's Volvo station wagon. It's all yours....take it. Just drop him off on your way home though please.

$20,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-T-shirt
-A signed drum from the 2008 Nine Inch Nails tour.
-Maynard James Keenan, Mark from Devo and Josh take you miniature golfing and then drop you off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on youtube)
-Josh gives you a tour of Long Beach. See his first apartment, the coffee shop on 2nd St where his buddy paid Dave Grohl $40 to rip up tile just weeks before joining "Nirvana." See the old Vandals rehearsal spot, the liquor store he got busted using a Fake I.D. at when he was 17 (it was Dave from the Vandals old ID). Go check out Snoop Dogg's high- school. For an extra 50 bucks see where Tom and Adrian from No Doubt live.=2 0For another $25 he'll show ya where Eric from NOFX and Brooks from Bad Religion get their hair cut.
-Spend the night aboard the Queen Mary and take the "Ghosts And Legends" tour. (separate rooms...no spooning.)
-Josh writes 2 songs about you and it's made available on iTunes and appears on his next record (you can sing back up on em, clap, play the drums, triangle, whatever....)
-Drum lesson OR foot and back massage (once again...couples welcome and discreet parking available)
-Pick any 3 items out of Josh's closet.

$75,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download
-T-shirt
-Go on tour with Josh for a few days.
-Have Josh write, record and release a 5 song EP about you and your life story.
-Take home any of his drumsets (only one but you can choose which one.)
-Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL's Lamborgini OR play quarters and then hop on the Ouija board for a while.
-Josh will join your band for a month...play shows, record, party with groupies, etc....
-If you don't have a band he'll be your personal assistant for a month (4 day work weeks, 10 am to 4 pm)
-Take a limo down to Tijuana and he'll show you how it's done (what that means exactly we can't legally get into here)
-If you don't live in Southern California (but are a US resident) he'll come to you and be your personal assistant/cabana boy for 2 weeks.
-Take a flying trapeze lesson with Josh and Robin from NIN, go back to Robin's place afterwards and his wife will make you raw lasagna.

Parker Lundgren Joins Queensryche

Queensryche has announced their new guitarist. Parker Lundgren looks like a complete douche nozzle, he's marrying the boss's daughter - which I guess can be awkward or not depending on how the two interact, but definitely no groupies on tour - and (in addition to the Tate family connection) he's Geoff's man by coming from the Geoff Tate solo project touring band. The Blabbermouth link above includes a YouTube clip of Parker playing in Seattle, but unconveniently cuts out before we can really see what he can do.

Here's what piques my curiousity: publically, it looks like Queensryche just put themselves that much further into Geoff Tate's pocket by hiring his future son-in-law. This arrangement may make for a lack of confict, but stability doesn't always make for most exciting music. Maybe we'll see if there are any new sparks in the live set when the band comes around this spring; if not, I'll be happy to fall back on mocking that killer rose neck tattoo.

Everything Is Blue In This World

The mind of Trent Reznor is a mysterious thing. After two years of living in the rarefied air of a label-free existence, releasing two stellar albums, completing a tour that was tour de force as much as it was series of concerts, and tapping into the communal world of the Internet far more effectively than any other high-profile musician, Reznor is...hanging things up. Really? That's it? From forefront of the revolution to farewell tour in a few short weeks?

Speculation time: from the number of mentions Reznor has made in his blog about the difficulties he ran into executing the Lights in the Sky tour (including one in the farewell post) - and this from a guy who clearly has no problems communicating only what he wants the public to know - I suspect burnout. It's tough fighting against the inertia of an industry and it has to be even tougher when half of your band decides to part ways. It just seems a shame to go on hiatus (again) when the momentum has really started rolling again.

Necro Sexual ?

As unmetal as a song like "Walking in Memphis"  is, I believe I may have stumbled across a verse which seems to infer that the ghost of Elvis Presley is in fact, participating in a vile act . 

March Cohen, piano balladeer of the Bruce Hornsby 80/90'2 AOR ilk had a huge hit with this song. Fucking Cher covered it. Doesnt strike anyone on Earth as anything remotely metal. And yet..read this..

"Saw the ghost of Elvis, on Union  Avenue

Followed him up to the gates of Graceland

Then I watched him walk right through

Now security they did not see him

They just hovered 'round his tomb

But there's a pretty little thing

Waiting for the King

Down in the Jungle Room".

It would seem that....

1. The narrator has the ability to percieve the supernatural, rather naturally (metal!)

2. The narrator has his eye on both the movment of the guards, who are either unaware or choose to turn a blind eye ("did not see him"), to the going's on  at  Graceland after hours, and the literal going's on in the jungle room. which would make him a survalliance creep (slightly metal).

3. The fact that the narrator knows there is a "pretty little thing"= young pussy  waiting for the King. 

Can we infer that the narrator is in service to to the ghost to deliver sweet meat? Which is King Diamond levels of unsettling.

Hail!

The Fourth Wave of Extreme Metal

I was listening to Blut Aus Nord's newest release - which is fantastic, by the way - earlier today and got to thinking about the differences between the current waves of extreme metal in Europe and the United States. While there are some points of commonality - perhaps enough to call this some sort of wave (like the Fourth Wave name that I arbitrarily stuck in the title) - here, bands like Nachtmystium, edit: Baroness, Krallice, and Wolves in the Throne Room are making sounds that are not only more or less recognizable as extreme metal (you might call some of them metalgaze; Seth, who loves the concept as a crossover point between the indie and metal portions of his musical soul, prefers "not metal") but also seem to use nihilism as a creative focal point: think Nachtmystium's Blake Judd screaming "We came from nothing/and are nothing" during "Assassins."

Meanwhile, over in Europe, while the aesthetic remains basically the same - and here I'm thinking of bands like Keep of Kalessin, Moonsorrow, and Blut Aus Nord - the focal point is more the enormity of external forces that shape our lives (or, as I put it recently, making me want to live in a hut in the wilderness) than the emptiness of existence. Frankly, I find the later concept more appealing; maybe I just like the idea of struggling fruitlessly against something more than I like the idea of struggling fruitlessly against nothing. Or I've just seen The Big Lebowski one too many times.

Progressive Nation Pt. 2, a rebuttal

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Dream Theater and Zappa Plays Zappa on the same bill!

Aside from all the other great things about this, the high profile gig will probably lure some A-list members of the original Zappa band to join on the tour. Here's hoping for more Vai/Bozzio action.

I don't know Beardfish and Pain of Salvation is not my cup of tea, but I wasn't planning on showing up when doors opened anyway.

I hope it is at Terminal 5 again. This bill screams for some Hallo Berlin beer boots beforehand.

Progressive Nation Volume 2

I've heard that Zappa Plays Zappa is pretty intense, so I say this with a big grain of salt, but isn't it a bad sign when a package tour hires what's essentially a cover band as their main opener? I mean, is the state of progressive music so bad that Mike Portnoy can't find a band he likes to open for Dream Theater that is playing music of a more recent vintage than the early 1990s?

That might be a little harsh. I suspect the real reason Portnoy tapped the Zappa crew is that he knows there's a good crossover between fans of the two groups and he's looking to give people more reasons to come to the show. Good strategy for the tough economic times and all that, but I hope he's not relying on two relative unknowns from Sweden to expand peoples' horizons.

Journey made $44 Million in 2008

I've got nothing.....

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/madonna-tops-2009-music-money-makers-list-1003940730.story

Roadrunner, what is your angle?

So I am on the Roadrunner mailing list. I normally tune out most of what they send but today's headline was "Exclusive News About Dream Theater's Upcoming Album..."

So I opened it...and they make me click through to read the "exclusive news" and those results are below. I don't really get their angle. That is neither news nor exclusive, as it has been on Blabbermouth. They are making an album and Portnoy/Pertrucci are producing. No shit. They produce ALL the records. As someone who works online and with web marketing in my professional life I have been trying to figure out why they sent this out. Are they trying to see who is an active user on their mailing list? Hoping to increase page traffic? I don't see any advertising they would be boosting their traffic for. So why make me click through on an email for completely useless information? WTF? Any ideas?

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/news/DREAM-THEATER-WORKING-ON-THEIR-10TH-STUDIO-ALBUM-19838.aspx

Coming Signs of the Apocalypse

Apocalypse of suck, that is: Limp Bizkit is getting back together and going on tour. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a rule that nostalgia acts have to wait at least a decade - preferably fifteen years - before deciding to milk their fame a bit more? That shit's got to settle, boys; brew up until it's good and ready.

Of course, I'd prefer if "good and ready" meant "never ever again," but there is one positive to the return of the guys who made nu-metal the shitshow we know and hate: Limp Bizkit gives out quotes that are rife with unintentional comedy. For example:

"We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why LIMP BIZKIT is back."

That's right, people: it's not for the money, it's not because of Fred Durst's failed acting/directing career, and it's certainly not to capitalize on metal's popularity. Limp Bizkit is imposing themselves upon because they know their music will make a difference.

Yeah, right.