Coming Signs of the Apocalypse

Apocalypse of suck, that is: Limp Bizkit is getting back together and going on tour. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a rule that nostalgia acts have to wait at least a decade - preferably fifteen years - before deciding to milk their fame a bit more? That shit's got to settle, boys; brew up until it's good and ready.

Of course, I'd prefer if "good and ready" meant "never ever again," but there is one positive to the return of the guys who made nu-metal the shitshow we know and hate: Limp Bizkit gives out quotes that are rife with unintentional comedy. For example:

"We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why LIMP BIZKIT is back."

That's right, people: it's not for the money, it's not because of Fred Durst's failed acting/directing career, and it's certainly not to capitalize on metal's popularity. Limp Bizkit is imposing themselves upon because they know their music will make a difference.

Yeah, right.

Playing the Tongue-in-Cheek

The Onion has it right:

The gentleman they "interviewed" for this piece on the wonderful diversity of heavy metal is spot on - I've spent today listening to Anthrax (Greater of Two Evils), Queensryche (Operation: Mindcrime II), Black Sabbath (The Mob Rules) and - my newest joy - Blind Guardian (Nightfall in Middle Earth and Somewhere Far Beyond) and feel like a better person for having done so. So hats off to you, Curt Webber of Logansport, Indiana; you're a righteous, open-minded dude in my book.

Hold that thought: you're a cretin for liking nu-metal and hating on all rap metal. Sure, a lot of that stuff was crap, but doesn't mean you need to discount Rage, you narrow-minded freak. Fred Durst is ok, but Zack De La Rocha gets no love? What a loser.