The Darkest, Blackest of Alcohols

We all know about Gaahl: channeler of the darkness, flirter with white supremacy, Homosexual of the Year in Bergen, Norway. However, we might be able to add a new descriptor: redeemer of white wine as the choice alcohol of the black metal set. You see, as Gaahl told a newspaper interviewing him about his award, wine helps you make important decisions:

"It was after closing time. I was at Fincken (gay bar in Bergen). Robin came to the club to look for his former boyfriend. I was buzzed on white wine, and suddenly I saw a glowing figure in the door. That was Robin. I thought to myself that he must be mine."

I'll admit it: despite its color, which does seem like it would have a certain appeal to those obsessed with the world's bleakness, I wouldn't have picked white wine as the choice of anyone who fronted a band that recorded a song called "Procreating Satan." I guess it's the more sophisticated side of the corpse-painted auto mechanic revolution Seth highlighted on Tuesday.

Thoughts on King Diamond playable in Guitar Hero

I was already leaning towards a purchase of Guitar Hero: Metallica when I heard that King Diamond would be a playable in game character, with the classic top hat and bone microphone. You know, a lot like that image to the left.













So then I started thinking about who else would be awesome obscure playable characters in future Guitar Hero games. (For the record I prefer Rock Band but they don't do this stupid guest star shit)

David Yow! Wouldn't that be a fun motion capture session? David Yow with those MoCap ping pong balls on his penis. Besides Guitar Hero needs some Duane Denison riffs. Personally I would want to play Boilermaker or Wheelchair Epidemic.


Joey Demaio! Aren't all of the backing musicians in this game just modeled after him anyway? I would also like to see if loincloths and codpieces are tame enough to allow Guitar Hero to keep its T for Teen rating. Also, I think Joey can really use the money right now. And to add to that Guitar Hero wish list, let me play Hail and Kill or Brothers of Metal!








Gaahl! Not only would the Gorgoroth singer be a delightfully creepy addition to the game, there is a great business opportunity for Activision here. Let people buy the dresses that he and his twink boyfriend have designed. Also a great boss battle can be Gorgoroth vs Gorgoroth.



Who else would you put into a future Guitar Hero game?