The magnificent missive displayed below is a scan of a flyer handed out by a few brave souls (apparently on behalf of someone named G/) at last night's Kreator show in NYC. When you read it (click on it to load a larger version for easier reading), be sure to look for these highlights:
- The use of inconsistent title case throughout the flyer. It's almost like the writer wanted to drive home a point, but worried about going too overboard with capitalization. I can almost see him sitting at his computer, corpse paint melting off his face as he labors over his call to arms, thinking to himself, 'No, don't capitalize every word; you don't want them to think you're a crazy person.'
- Using "ov" instead of "of" to demonstrate the band's uber-kvltness.
- The band's influences: we've got some death metal (Morbid Angel, Entombed, Dismember), some black metal (Beherit), some of both (Dissection, Bathory)...and Iron Maiden. Oh, and the touches of doom. Can't forget those. Since we know the band has "a Full-Lengths Worth ov Material Written," I can only imagine they're planning on releasing an album that sounds like a terrifying cross between In Flames, Behemoth, and My Dying Bride.
- The Lovecraft-style allusions to ancient evils and nameless horrors and the use of fake foreign languages. The hand-written text at the end is particularly awesome. Is it for special emphasis? Did the writer forget to write it before printing and decide not to reprint because he was too cheap? Why is there a dot in the middle of the upside down star?
- The exclamation points. You can never have too many exclamation points when you're trying to move people.
- The email address. When you're forming a band, always remember: AOL is by far the most metal free email service. I also like the use of the phrase, "Interested Parties May Contact," which sounds like a crib from a Victorian horror novel.
Enjoy:
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