The Darkest, Blackest of Alcohols

We all know about Gaahl: channeler of the darkness, flirter with white supremacy, Homosexual of the Year in Bergen, Norway. However, we might be able to add a new descriptor: redeemer of white wine as the choice alcohol of the black metal set. You see, as Gaahl told a newspaper interviewing him about his award, wine helps you make important decisions:

"It was after closing time. I was at Fincken (gay bar in Bergen). Robin came to the club to look for his former boyfriend. I was buzzed on white wine, and suddenly I saw a glowing figure in the door. That was Robin. I thought to myself that he must be mine."

I'll admit it: despite its color, which does seem like it would have a certain appeal to those obsessed with the world's bleakness, I wouldn't have picked white wine as the choice of anyone who fronted a band that recorded a song called "Procreating Satan." I guess it's the more sophisticated side of the corpse-painted auto mechanic revolution Seth highlighted on Tuesday.