Thursday, July 24, 2008

Red, White, and Ted Nugent

Last night, Seth and I were discussing the release of Ted Nugent's new book - which I had misremembered as Red, White, and Nuge, which I think is a catchier than Ted, White, and Blue - and how it could be used as a get out of jail free card with the TSA in airports: just hold it at chest level in the security line and they'll not only wave you through the scanners, but grant you a full honor guard escort all the way to your gate, where you'll be given an upgrade to first class on the spot. You see, the government security establishment thinks highly of the Nuge and his political throwbacks to an America that never existed, and therefore anyone who favors his views could not possibly be a terrorist. It's like reverse profiling!

Today, we find out the book isn't coming out until October. While the later release date means you'll need to use one of Ted's earlier books - I favor Kill It & Grill It myself, for its pithy title - as the passport through our iron-clad airport security system, it does give Ted, White, and Blue a much more important primary role. Since the book is highly political in nature, pitting "God, guns, and red-blooded, full-throated Americanism against pantywaist politicians, nanny-state judges, and tofu-eating Obamamaniacs," I suspect we may have found the 2008 October Surprise a few months early. That's right, folks: Ted Nugent is going to save this country, one book reader at a time.

1 comment:

Mathdude said...

As a young boy (teenager), I was totally into the Nuge, along with my brother. His Dog Eat Dog and Double Live Gonzo albums are still classics in my book, and I really got into Flesh and Blood and Terminus Eldorado on Wango Tango, but he seemed to jump the shark there. And he was always kind of a whack job in real life.